It is that time of the month. My credit card statements have found their way into the husband’s inbox.
Any man who is expecting a credit card outstanding that is pleasing on the eye after a six week long vacation is a man estranged from reality, a man with a utopian bent of mind.
More so if those six weeks made allowance for a side trip to America, truly the land of the (guilt) free (shoppers).
His body language gave it away as soon as he walked into the house. But he will not make it easier for me by just stating the cause of his anguish. He will leave it out there for me to wonder, like any good FBI agent would do before he begins with his inquisitions.
He broke it to me just as I sat down to break bread. Here’s your credit card statement, he said with a mien that was far from casual.
“What do you have to say about it?” he questions.
“Well I think this isn’t bad at all. It includes my shopping as well as the kids. “Our” kids.”
“Right. And you don’t think this is extravagant?”
I replied in the negative. “Buying necessities is not extravagance. I don’t think this credit statement is very bad at all because I could have bought a croc Birkin. And since I did not I have saved
you us a fortune.” Notice the clever use of “us”.
“Birkin? Why would you buy a Birkin? You have yourself told me you don’t care much for it. How does the Birkin even figure in this conversation?” Now he is looking all puzzled.
“Yes I agree with you on that I was not even considering buying a Birkin. But am just saying.”
“That this credit card statement could’ve been a lot worse had I been into Birkins and even more so if I had been into exotic skin Birkins.”
“This is truly the worst logic ever.” He is looking at me incredulously now.
“Maybe sometimes, just sometimes you can find it in you to praise my endeavours to save you money.
Instead you red flag this modest credit card statement!!!! I am hurt.”
“Modest? How is this modest? I don’t know what to say to you!” He is about to throw in the towel any minute now.
“There is no pleasing you. This is it. I think I should have never given up my career to raise our kids. Then I would not have to explain my credit card statement to anyone.”
“Where is that coming from now for god’s sake?”
“It is coming from a place that has opportunity cost written all over it. Had I not chosen to be a stay at home mother…,
“Oh ok ok I get it. Fine baba. I ll say nothing now. At least just go over the bill calmly and confirm that these are your expenses.”
And so it is that what could’ve been an acrimonious exchange between man and wife turned into a mature conversation between two adults.
Maturity always wins.
And a woman’s logic.